Nigerian gay activist Bisi Alimi using his mother as an example advised parents to stop blackmailing their kids emotionally as his mother did that and she lost him completely.
Bisi Alimi in his submission said as a parent you can only emotionally blackmail your kids for as long as you can but one day the veil will be lifted and they will walk away from your toxic behavior and that seems to be what happened between him and his mother.
According to him, now his mother is the one trying her best to get him back but sadly that mother-son ship has sailed and no relationship can exist between them and he has used that experience to advise parents to stop using emotional blackmail to get the attention of their kids.
Adding that you can do more by staying back, getting curious, asking questions, and trying to understand your kids as they are your kids, not your toy or play dough that you want to mold into a mini version of you.
And as a parent, if you can’t understand, accept, and give your children the space to become the adult they are becoming then leave them alone and stop blackmailing them emotionally because that will only create space between you two one day when the veil is finally removed.